kats journal

soo happy right now =]

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 00:43:01 GMT

i will be getting my new laptop on wednesday and i cannot wait. im also gonna apply for another job because the one i have now sucks balls.

im getting drunk with jill tonight and then she's sleeping over. im excited cause i miss her and havent seen her in a long long time.

i received some information about someone reading my journal that i didnt realize had the link. thats all im gonna say, because trashing someone in my live journal aint my style.

button is infected. doctor tomorrow =\

and im also excited for the pa fiesta at rays apartment which is coming up soon. shall be a good time =]

annndd thats all kids <3 payce

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 13:55:09 GMT

lalalalalallaa

last night was fun =]
working today then heading upstate which will be even more fun =D
no mo drama in mahh lifeee. holla.

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 00:53:37 GMT

last night i had people here.
got trashed and alex slepped over, now im running on 3 hours of sleep. =] but i cant get this smile off my face.

tuesday i leave for noyac, and i cannot wait. to just sit on the beach everyday all day long and not have to go to work.. just the kind of vacation i need right now.

he is 100 percent out of the picture, and its just better to forget it then to try and keep a friendship with him. he isnt worth me relapsing.

im going to adelphi next year, and im really excited i got in and everythinnngg =D

and thats all i have to say.

<33 =]

Sat, 13 May 2006 22:23:58 GMT

18 days till summer is finally here
i have a boyfriend, his name is alex<3
i have money and i like my job (most of the time)
i lost 7 pounds

=D yay

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 22:54:11 GMT

"that night we talked.
about life.
about our times together.
maybe we weren't the two kids we had once been..
but some things never change.
some things last.
and even though i didn't know what was going to
happen to us, or where we were going,
i just knew i couldnt let him out of my life"
-the wonder years

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 04:18:32 GMT

and here with my problems
i dont need the light
they're bigger than darkness
and darker than night
i leave on the promise of something that shines
perfection aint perfect.
a leaver will find
i find this
all
the
time.

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 01:22:10 GMT

yeah so im bored and i havent written anything in awhile.

i havent started christmas shopping yet. i havent bought a single gift. BUT i did go tanning today ! =)

anndd i thought id find out if i got into mt st marys today.. but apparently not. APPARENTLY i find out tomorrow. on the 15th, not 15 days after i send it in. DUMBASS! i probably wont get in anyway cause i cant count or read! yayy!

when i dont get in im gonna feel like a real asshole. =\

i was looking through old entries from this journal and most of em are really sad. but in one entry i said:
"im afraid of the future, i complain about the present, and i miss the past. that is how it will always be, from here on in."
and idk, i was just thinking.. maybe i shouldnt complain about the present. the entries in this journal were sad cause all i did was complain about what was going on in my life. and if i didnt complain about the present then maybe i wouldnt miss it when it became the past. and maybe i should just stop stressing about where im gonna be in 10 years and then i wont be so afraid of the future. but i guess thats just how i am.
yeah and i was really bored last night and i looked trhough my old xanga thingy. also pretty sad.. but thats just cause i now miss the past.

and i think thats enough thinking for tonight loves.

so i will stop complaining. PAYCE.

procastinationnnnnnn what up

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 02:28:52 GMT

so i should be writing my enlgish essay or doing my math take home test. but im not.

here are 20 things i bet you didnt know about me:
1. Although im dead set on going away, im scared shitless. because i hate change and making new friends all over again scares the crap out of me.
2. i dont like alot of people. its easier for me to sit and smile and talk to someone rather than to fight with them or have them know i dont like them. and when i say alot i mean alot.. like theres under 5 people im close with that i actually could spend alot of time with without killing myself.
3. i hate laziness. i hate when people are fat because they're lazy, or they're unsuccessful because they're lazy. people who are lazy really really piss me off and it annoys me to absolutely no end.. but honsetly, im one of the laziest people i know.
4. i hate when people cant spell. I.E. : its AWESOME not awsome. its TOMORROW not TOMMORROW.
5. i. hate. ugly. sluts. im not talking about girls who wear slutty clothes. i truly believe every girl has a right to wear whatever the hell they want, and if they can take enough pride in their bodies to be able to wear what they want without worrying what others are gonna say, i honestly respect them for that. but i hate girls who are ugly and yet hook up with many many guys. i especially hate BACK-STABBING sluts.. those are obviously the worst. chicks before dicks. ya ya what up.
6. i hate movies. cant sit through em unless theyre really interesting. and usually theyre not.
7. if i could drink every night without getting fat or becoming an alcoholic, id do it.
8. i dont like staying home. i hate being home for many hours in one night. i hate even staying at someones house and hanging out there all night. i want to go out and see as many people as humanly possible.
9. my family really really pisses me off sometimes. but honestly, i like them alot.
10. im extremely sensitive. i hear about someone dying and i cry.. even if i dont know who they are. when i watch a sad show like oprah or like maury, i cry most of the time and then i feel stupid.
11. i love quiznos and could eat it everyday without a problem.
12. i dont like coldstone anymore
13. i complain alot. i hated sacred heart, i hated working at magic bagels. so i quit. now im in central and i work at cvs.. and i complain all the time about the both of them too. i will never be satisfied, there will always be SOMETHING wrong.
14.i am the worst when it comes to communication. i will never tell you what is exactly on my mind because i hate confrontaion, i hate fighting, and i hate making someone feel bad for me or get upset.
15. i hate anger. i am an angry person.
16. i am SO AFRAID of failing, and i am 99 percent sure that i will fail.
17. i have no self-confidence.
18. i used to think i was fat. now ive gotten to a point where im okay with what i look like.. but i still think that if i lost 10 pounds id be happier.
19. im afraid of the future, i complain about the present, and i miss the past. that is how it will always be, from here on in.
20. i should be doing homework.

YAYAYYYYYYYYY

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 00:16:49 GMT

tonight. i am getting HAMMERED. where you ask? a keg party. in ISLIP.

i havent drank since like.. september. and i will drink and i will have an amazing night.. because quite frankly i think i deserve it.

=D sweet.

WOOOHOOOOO

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 15:16:55 GMT

so. i passed my road test =D hahaha and my moms taking me to fridays to celebrate because i dont think she thought i would pass. and im obviously not going to school for the rest of the day because im lazy. and who goes to school these days? not me.

oh yeah and i hate sacred heart. because apprently after my parents and grandparents paying about 16,800 dollars, sacred heart isnt too sure they want to write me a fucking recommendation letter. because ya know, i only went there for 2 and a half years. instead of the full fucking 4. honestly thats pretty disgusting and im gonna try and get my old physics/bio teacher to write me one without the school finding out. and if it doesnt work i may have to threaten the life of my old guidance counselor.

oh and i dont know why but my sister maggie has been a real big bitch lately. shes always cranky and is always just pissing me off. maybe its me and im in a bad mood ? but good lord i cant stand her sometimes.

oh and i twisted my knee last night dancing. and it hurts. but im kinda overly-dramatic about these things.

okay, now its time to shower and DRIVE to FRIDAYS to celebrate me PASSING MY MOTHERFUCKING road test =)

kay bye

halloweeeeeeeenie.

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 19:44:18 GMT

=D YAYAY. IM IN A REALLY GOOD MOOD BECAUSE I AM DONE WITH MY COLLEGE APPLICATIONS.

aaaaannnnnnnnnnnddddddddd halloween is tomorrow and i lovelovelove halloween. its definetly one of my favoritest holidays in the whole entire world.

AAAAAANNDDDDDD on november 11th i am going to D.C. and visiting my vifey and that makes me soooooo happy you have no idea. we are going to have a fucking amazing time that is fo sho. =D yayayyaayyaya

last night i went to this kid phils house with kathryn dana erin and sara. funfunfun until it got raided by the cops. so we went fit 9 people into a 5 seater car and went to taco bell! and then there were fights with big fat black ladies and we got to see MORE COPS. yayy. but it was fun anywho.

annddd this entry is a whole lot more up beat than the last one. YAY!

oh and p.s. i cant breathe deeply. therefore i must be having an asthma attack.
IM ON A ROLL!!!! WOOHOO!! hahahahahahaha
who takes their health seriously these days? NOT ME =D

KAY work at 4.

lala

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 21:04:03 GMT

- today is sunday and i do not have work tonight =D
- i have pretty much finished my college application to mt st marys and that is the only one i really care about.
- i just got back from dunkin donuts with jill and it was delicious
- tomorrow i have to go to the cardiologist and therefore will be missing all of performing arts. again.
- i have alot of homework to do and i should be doing it
- tomorrow is tryouts for the individual teams for streamers. im kinda nervous
- my tummy hurts
- i want christmas
- i wrote a precis on thursday and i was super proud of it and i hope i get a good grade on it cause i worked really hard on it. my mom let me stay home from school to write it. anndd im getting it back tomorrow second period and im a big loser because i cant wait to see what i got.
- i had a really good weeekend
- i wish i could drink alcohol and diet coke and coffeewithout worrying about stuff.
- i wish i didnt have to take stupid medicine cause im bad at remembering when to take it
- i was in blessed sacrament teaching religious ed and i realized that i strangeley miss it. cause in elementary school stuff was so easy and simple. and i was still extremely sheltered and i really miss being innocent like that.
- i want tacos.
- this morning it was really hard to get out of bed and i dont know why. i didnt have a hangover but i felt like i had been hit by a truck. i still feel kinda.. not myself?
- this past week has made me very grateful for what i have.
- why good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people?
- its cold out.
- i miss my family
- i miss summer
- i miss the beach
- i miss my friends who went away
- i miss alli
- i miss drinking every night
- i miss life being easy
- but im honestly really happy with where i am in life right now.

lalala and thats what is on my mind at the moment.

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 04:05:39 GMT

so um apparently they redid the whole freakin youth center at blessed sacrament. it looks sooo nice and i was so surprised. i probably sitll wont go though. =\ oh well.

had newsday tonight and i fucked up many many times. it was so sad because when they called up central someone had a sign that said "this ones for you john" and so everyone yelled it at the same time. then lotsa people started crying and of course, i started crying. and it was extremely sad =( youre never supposed to bury your kids.

but on a different note, the time between after school and actually getting to newsday was quite stressful. after school i went to my aunts dads wake. we got out of there at about 4ish, and my mom was having all of my aunts family back over to her house in between the 2-4 and 7-9 wake for dinner. so, of course the freakin electricity went out. she tried to cook ZITI ON A GRILL. yeah. so my sister laura and i had to walk home from the funeral home, which wouldnt of been a big deal except for the fact that we were a BIT pressed for time. SO, we got home at about 4:20. i ran upstairs and started to change when i realized.. I DONT OWN DANCE SHOES. so i called every streamer whose number i had and in the process had a few conversations with other people who i accidently called because im supersmart. SO, i had to be at central at 4:45 to learn the dance i hadnt learned yet because the coaches cant teach. honestly, its not my fault that i didnt know the dance. yes i know, i was sick on monday and that is my fault, but honsetly, we should of known that dance WEEKS ago. whose fault is that? NOT MINE. fuck that we had our frist football game in september.. we shoulda known it by then. but anyway, i had to eat dinner, get dressed, find warm clothing to bring with me, do my hair, do my makeup, and find shoes in about 25 minutes. which therefore led to a nervous breakdown. i cried about nothing and yelled at my sisters about nothing. and this my friends, is why pms should be eliminated.

and im not going to school thursday again because i have my aunts dads funeral to go to.

kay peace.

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 00:29:24 GMT

rest in peace john labarbera and bud wisneski <3

its funny how death is one of the only things that can make you realize not to take a single moment or friend for granted.

noo school for me

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 16:24:41 GMT

yeah i had a pretty awesome weekend =D saturday night i slept at jens and sunday we went to six flags all dayyy.. we smoked at like 6 and went back in for fright fest.. it was fuckin ridiculous. annd today i convinced my mom i was sick and couldnt go to school because we got home last night at like 12 and i had done no homework at all. yaayy so that means no kickline tonight either.

started my diet today with jen castro and alyssa. excciittinngg i know lol but i dont own a scale so im not gonna see the actual numbers.. blah blah.

kay im tired of typing

lalaa noo school

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 17:06:35 GMT

yayy for no school.

not yay for going to the doctor and getting EKGs on my heart and getting blood taken. stupid acid reflux.

last night jen castro and i went to alissas house and we had a grand time. kinda watching psycho but not really? oh and i decided im being a cow girl for halloween ;-) sweeeet.

i have work at 4 therefore rendering me unavailable to see my favorite alli in the whole wide world. this makes me very very sad because i was looking forward to seeing her =( i miss her SOOOOOOO much.

work + college applications + spanish project = JFKLSAJCIWEJAIOCDSAK'REW

kay peace.

baaaaaaaddddd mood

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 22:27:46 GMT

so. the past couple of days ive been thinking about college.. and for the longest time i was dead set on going to mount st marys university. and now, i dont wanna go anymore.
i dont have the money. SUNY schools are 238904329849023 times cheaper and i have to pay ALL of my tuition for the entire 4 years.
im leaning more towards secondary education rather than elementary and msmu doesnt offer secondary education as a major.
i cant explain it.. its like i wanted to go there for so long and i was so set on it and now i dont even know where i wanna go. i have no clue even where to APPLY.

fmsdalk;fjdkakldsajnw\io' mcwiahnfuidnsakjlc'n3q[89fhjsknflkdxmcx<ZMNcv'ioea yeah.

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 02:06:28 GMT

i was bored so i made one of these because i like them better than the xanga thingys.

so im gonna post my xanga entry. because yeah i just wrote it and why not just stick it in here.

lalala im bored. and i was just thinking..

i have found the people that i dont wanna lose.. the ones who i can come home to year after year in college. and that makes me really happy =)
i also feel like i lost someone that i never should have lost. one person who i thought would always be there for me.. no matter what. its funny how you can go from talking to someone everyday to not talking to them for weeks.

whatever, life goes on.

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 01:56:53 GMT

wooo livejournal.